Los Wiscaminantes: The River Border Cross

Ok, enough about VW bug mania. Although it was quite fun, we'll move on to an actual story from our trip...

After two nights in Palenque, we decided to catch a shuttle to Guatemala. It's kind of a remote border crossing. Our guidebook's instructions include the phrase "then catch any pickup or vehicle heading to...". We decided paying for guaranteed transport was a good idea. Well, it turned out to be a harrowing adventure all on its own.

I woke up in our jungle hut in El Panchan feeling awful. It was 5am and the howler monkeys were making quite a bit of noise. If you've never heard a howler monkey, I suggest you look it up on you tube right now. They make a very creepy, cool, almost demonic sound. Upon getting out of bed, I knew it was going to be a rough day. I had 10 hours of travel ahead of me and it looked like I would be battling a case of diarrhea on top of it! Our shuttle picked us up at 6:30am and we made out way across the twisting bumpy roads. I popped an immodium, Tums and probiotics and crossed my fingers. Luckily, there were a couple of pre-scheduled stops at rather convenient times.

I first noticed we had a communication problem with our shuttle driver at the breakfast stop. In our experiences, most shuttle drivers are rather pleasant people who explain how things are going to work out in terms of stops, etc. Our shuttle driver seemed to like to keep us in the dark at all times. When we stopped at the breakfast buffet, the driver informed the passengers of our van that we had 30 minutes. He said nothing else. We didn't see anyone paying and we didn't see a place to pay so we came to the conclusion that breakfast was included in the price of our transport. Bonus! I ate some dry cornflakes and stashed bread and bananas in my purse for later while Tim chowed on scrambled eggs.

We then all piled back into the shuttle and hunkered down for more twisty roads. Then, the driver came over and banged on the back door (we were in the back) and asked if we had eaten breakfast. When we confirmed we had, we asked why we hadn't paid. "If you eat breakfast, you pay," he said in a very condescending voice. This is when we learned that everyone else in our shuttle was on their way to a different destination and had paid for a "package tour" while we had paid "only transportation". We paid up. It was expensive. The driver didn't exactly endear himself to us.

After a few more hours in the shuttle, we had reached the river crossing portion of our journey. We had a few hours in shuttle, 30 minutes in boat and a few more hours in shuttle in Guatemala. We got our passports stamped at Mexican immigration and made our way to the water's edge.

The River Border

We were joined by other vans full of people heading to the same place we were. As we were piling onto the boats, the shuttle driver called Tim and me over to him and informed us that the two of us would be going in a boat BY OURSELVES! His reasoning was that the other boat was too full. I did not like this one bit. Tim was mouthing the word "NO" over the driver's shoulder. As I argued that we could squeeze in, the last of the boats slipped into the river and we were stuck on shore with no other options.

The Boat We Would NOT Be Getting On:

Maybe we are overly paranoid people but my first thought was that we were being isolated so that we could be robbed in this very remote border area. You think that's silly? Have you ever watched Animal Planet? Predators separate their prey from the herd to make them more vulnerable. Also, we have heard various stories of people being robbed in various ways. This is when Tim started taking photos. You can see me pretending to pose for pretty shots while Tim snapped photos of the "suspects" - the shuttle drivers. Our shuttle driver called out to a rickety boat passing by and asked him to take us up to the Guatemalan border. He forwarded the boat man a few pesos so that he could pay for our shuttle in Guatemala. In fact, there was a lot of exchanging of pesos between the shuttle drivers. Our driver is the guy on the left in the photos. He's kind of sketchy looking, don't you think?

If our driver had been even remotely friendly or open, I might have been more comfortable. We reluctantly slipped onto the old boat and made our way up river. The boats the rest of our group took had life preservers and official company names. We had none of that.

The Shoreline Slipping Away:

After 30 harrowing minutes up the river, the boat driver safely moored his boat at the Guatemala crossing. The drama had been all in our heads! It turns out that our shuttle driver just wanted to help a local man make a few extra bucks. Why he didn't split the group in half is beyond me! We tipped the boat driver 10 pesos for his troubles. We did get a shot of him as well, just in case.

Safe And Sound At Guatemala Immigration:

Now we were on to the Guatemalan road portion of the journey! Our driver very clearly explained the plan and after we cleared Guatemalan immigration, we spent 2 hours on a horribly bumpy dirt road. We were packed in like sardines but the group way lively and fun. There were Spaniards on board! Naturally, we became friends along the way. Also on board was our new friend, Chris, a very fun Argentine was has been living in Spain for years. Here's a shot of Tim, obviously happy that adventure was behind us. He is sitting sideways because his legs didn't fit in front of him.

When we reached paved road, the van erupted into cheers an applause. It would be smooth sailing from there on out! Our excitement was short lived, however. Soon after, our driver pulled over and began to inspect the tires. Sure enough, the bad road had left our poor van with a flat! We stopped at a tire repair place - there are tons of these in Guatemala due to poor roads - and waited for the repair. Some members of our group made out for an ultimately unsuccessful quest for beer. My stomach was feeling a bit better but not good enough for a beer. We didn't take pictures of the flat tire ordeal because it felt rude to the poor shuttle driver. He had suffered a flat on the way to pick us up as well!

The rest of the ride was smooth. We stopped at an ATM for money and were safely deposited at our hotels in Flores. The driver even waited while we inspected various hotels to find the best deal! Great service!

So that, my friends, is how we made it from the jungle in Palenque, Mexico to a room with a balcony overlooking the lake in the island town of Flores, Guatemala. (we even have hot water with decent water pressure to boot!) We'll spend a few nights here so my stomach can recover.